- Decide the hosts' line first. Everything else is easier once you know whose invitation this is.
- Formal wording uses the third person and spells dates out; modern wording says it in your own voice. Both are correct, and mixing them is not.
- One card or two: if the ceremony and the reception have different guest lists, they need different wording, not smaller print.
- The reply line needs a date, a way and what to include; without those three you will chase.
- Adults only, plus-ones, dress code and gifts: say each once, on the invitation, in the same words for everyone.
What a wedding invitation must say
Everything else is design. If a guest can read the card once and know these seven things, the invitation has done its job, and the questions you get afterwards will be about hotels rather than about what time to arrive.
- Who is inviting: the couple, the parents, or both families together.
- Who is getting married: full names, in the order the two of you agree on.
- The day, the date and the year, and the time the ceremony starts.
- The ceremony venue with its full address, and the reception venue if it is a different place.
- What happens and roughly when: ceremony, drinks, dinner, dancing, and when it ends.
- Dress code, in words a guest can act on.
- How to reply and by when, with a real date.
The hosts' line, in every family shape
Traditionally the hosts are whoever pays, which is why the old formula opens with the bride's parents. Today most couples host themselves or host together with their families, and the wording follows whatever is true. What matters is that it is decided before the card is designed, and that it does not quietly favour one side.
The lines below cover the shapes that come up. Take the one that fits and change the names; if two shapes half-fit, the fully honest one is almost always "together with their families".
Together with their families, Anna Weber and Thomas Klein invite you to their wedding.
Anna Weber and Thomas Klein invite you to celebrate their marriage.
Mr and Mrs David Weber request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter Anna to Mr Thomas Klein.
Mr and Mrs David Weber and Mr and Mrs Peter Klein request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their children.
David Weber and Claudia Weber, together with Peter and Marta Klein, invite you to the wedding of Anna and Thomas.
Anna Weber, daughter of Claudia Weber and of the late David Weber, and Thomas Klein invite you to their wedding.
Together with her mother Claudia Weber and his parents Peter and Marta Klein, Anna and Thomas invite you to share their wedding day.
With the blessing of their families, Anna and Thomas invite you to their marriage.
Formal wording
Formal invitations are set in the third person, spell out the date and the hour, use no contractions and no exclamation marks, and give the reply its own line or its own card. The classic frame is below in full, followed by the phrases people swap in and out.
Two conventions are worth knowing rather than following blindly. "The honour of your presence" traditionally means a religious ceremony and "the pleasure of your company" a civil one, and the year is written out because a formal card carries no digits at all. Break either if your card looks better for it; nobody will write to you about it.
Mr and Mrs David Weber request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter Anna Marie to Mr Thomas Klein on Saturday, the twelfth of May, two thousand and twenty-seven, at half past three in the afternoon, at Villa Rosa, Seestrasse 14, Zurich, and afterwards at the reception.
The honour of your presence is requested at the marriage of Anna Marie Weber and Thomas Klein.
Together with their families, Anna Marie Weber and Thomas Klein request the pleasure of your company at their marriage.
Dinner and dancing to follow.
Reception immediately following the ceremony at Villa Rosa.
Kindly respond by the twelfth of April.
Modern wording
The modern register is the first person and your own voice, with the same facts underneath. It is the register most couples want, and the trap is padding: three warm sentences where one would do. Write the warm line, then the facts, and stop.
We're getting married, and we'd love you there.
Anna and Thomas are getting married. Come and celebrate with us.
After eight years, two cities and one very patient cat, we're making it official.
We're saying "I do" on Saturday 12 May, and the day is not the same without you.
Join us as we get married, eat too much and dance badly.
Ceremony at 3, dinner at 6, dancing until late. Bring comfortable shoes.
We're keeping it small, and you are on the very short list.
Playful wording
Playful wording works when the joke lives in the first line and the facts underneath stay straight. A guest who cannot find the time because the card is a bit too clever will ask you, which defeats the point.
She said yes. He cried. You're invited.
We've booked a room, a band and far too much cake. Please help us finish it.
Eight years of practice. One afternoon of ceremony. Come and watch.
Free bar, questionable dancing, one wedding. Saturday 12 May.
We promise a short ceremony and a long dinner.
Ceremony and reception: one card or two
If everyone is invited to everything, one card does it: the ceremony time, the venue, and a line saying the reception follows. If the guest lists differ, the wording has to differ too, and the polite way is two separate invitations rather than one card with small print excluding people.
Evening-only guests should read an invitation that sounds like an invitation, not like a consolation. Say what they are invited to, when it starts, and that you would love them there. Nobody minds being asked to the party; people mind being told they are second-tier.
The ceremony begins at three o'clock, with drinks, dinner and dancing to follow.
Reception to follow at Villa Rosa from six o'clock.
We would love you to join us for the evening celebration, from eight o'clock, with drinks, cake and dancing.
Join us for the party: from 8pm at Villa Rosa, once the dinner plates are cleared and the band starts.
Ceremony 3pm · Drinks 4pm · Dinner 6pm · Dancing 9pm · Carriages 1am
The reply line
The reply line decides whether the month before your wedding is spent chasing. Give a date, one way to answer, and a note of what to include. Set the date three to four weeks before the wedding, so the caterer's deadline is not the same day as your last reminder.
On a digital invitation the reply form is part of the page, so the line is short and the guest answers in under a minute. On a printed card it carries the link or the QR code. The RSVP guide has the etiquette and thirty more lines.
Please reply by 12 April using the link below, and tell us about any dietary needs.
RSVP by 12 April · anna-and-thomas.example
Kindly respond by the twelfth of April.
Scan the code to reply — our caterer needs the numbers by mid-April.
Let us know by 12 April who's coming, and whether you need a room.
The four sentences everyone finds hard
Adults only, plus-ones, dress code and gifts. Each of them is easier on the invitation, once, in the same words for everyone, than in twelve separate conversations. Say them warmly and move on.
We love your children, but this will be an adults-only evening. Thank you for understanding.
An adults-only celebration — a night off, with our compliments.
We have reserved two seats in your name.
Our numbers are tight, so we are unable to offer plus-ones. We hope you understand.
Dress code: black tie. Dress code: smart, and the lawn is soft in heels. Dress code: come as you are.
Your presence is the present. If you would like to give something, a contribution to our honeymoon would be lovely.
We have everything two people need except a kitchen table, and a note on our guest page explains the rest.
No gifts, please — just come.
Second marriages, small weddings and weddings abroad
A second marriage is usually hosted by the couple, and the wording says so plainly; naming parents is unusual and can read oddly. A small wedding benefits from saying it is small, because it explains the guest list before anyone wonders. A wedding abroad has to carry a save-the-date months earlier and, on the invitation itself, the practical spine: which airport, which nights, what is arranged for guests.
In all three cases the register that works is modern and direct. Formal wording is designed for a large ceremony; on a twenty-guest lunch it can sound like a costume.
Anna and Thomas invite you to their wedding — a small day, with the people who matter most.
We are marrying quietly, with twelve people we love. You are one of them.
We're getting married in Puglia. Save the dates: 10 to 13 May 2027; details and rooms on the page below.
The ceremony is on the Friday and the long lunch on the Saturday, so come for the weekend if you can.
It has taken us a while to get here, and we would love you with us when we do.
Two languages, one invitation
Families spread across countries make wording harder than tone ever does. There are two workable answers. On a printed card, set both languages, one under the other, with the second in a slightly smaller size and the same typeface, and keep the names identical in both. On a digital invitation, let each guest see the page in their own language: the same invitation, read in Turkish by an aunt in Germany and in German by a colleague, with one reply form behind both.
What does not work is a single card in one language and a promise to explain the rest by message; the explanation never reaches everyone, and the guests who need it are the ones least likely to ask.
Wording mistakes at weddings
- The hosts' line left vague to avoid a conversation that then happens anyway.
- The date without the day of the week, so nobody catches a typo.
- The reception venue named but not addressed, because you know where it is.
- "Reception to follow" when half the guests are not invited to it.
- "Adults only" said to some guests by message and to others not at all.
- A dress code that is a mood: "garden festive", "elevated casual".
- A gift line that asks for money in a way you would not say out loud.
- The reply date set the week before the wedding, leaving no time to chase or to seat.
- Three ways to reply, so the answers arrive in three places.
- A joke that runs past the first line and into the address.
FAQ
- What is the correct wedding invitation wording?
- There is no single correct version; there is a correct order. Say who is inviting, who is marrying, the day, date and time, the venue with its address, what follows, the dress code and how to reply by a date. Then pick one register, formal or modern, and hold it.
- Whose names go first on a wedding invitation?
- Whoever is hosting comes first: the couple, the parents, or both families. Among the couple, the traditional order puts the bride first on a formal card, but the two of you deciding together is the modern answer and nobody counts.
- How do you word an invitation when both families are paying?
- Name both, or name neither. "Together with their families, Anna Weber and Thomas Klein invite you" is the line most couples land on; "Mr and Mrs Weber and Mr and Mrs Klein request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their children" is its formal version.
- How do you say adults only on a wedding invitation?
- Kindly, once, on the invitation, to everyone: "We love your children, but this will be an adults-only evening. Thank you for understanding." Saying it to some guests by message and not others is what causes upset.
- How do you ask for money instead of gifts?
- Say it in words you would use aloud: "Your presence is the present. If you would like to give something, a contribution to our honeymoon would be lovely." Put anything longer on the guest page rather than the invitation.
- When should wedding invitations be sent?
- Six to eight weeks before the wedding, with a reply-by date three to four weeks before it. For a wedding abroad, send a save-the-date nine to twelve months ahead and the invitation three to four months ahead.
- How do you word an evening-only invitation?
- As an invitation, not as an exception: "We would love you to join us for the evening celebration, from eight o'clock, with drinks, cake and dancing." Send it as its own invitation rather than as small print on the ceremony card.
- Can a wedding invitation be in two languages?
- Yes. On a printed card, set both languages one under the other in the same typeface. On a digital invitation, each guest can see the page in their own language, out of nine, with one reply form behind all of them.