- Every RSVP line needs a date, a method and what to include; the tone is yours.
- Formal cards use the third person and 'kindly'; casual invitations use 'we' and 'you'.
- Say the plus-one and children rules on the invitation, not in replies to individual guests.
- A reminder is a favour, so it should sound like one.
Formal wedding invitations
Formal wording keeps the third person, spells out the date, and gives the reply its own line. The reply card, or the link, carries the details.
The favour of a reply is requested by the twelfth of May.
Kindly reply by 12 May.
RSVP by 12 May · reply card enclosed.
Kindly respond by 12 May at the address below, indicating the number of guests attending and any dietary requirements.
The pleasure of your reply is requested by 12 May. Please scan the code or visit the page below.
Modern and casual invitations
The same four jobs, in the first person. These work on a digital invitation, a printed card with a link, or a group message.
Please let us know by 12 May whether you can make it, and how many of you are coming.
Reply by 12 May at the link below. Tell us who is coming and if anyone has dietary needs.
Can you come? Tap the link and let us know by 12 May.
We need numbers for the caterer by 12 May. One tap, thirty seconds, and you are done.
Scan the code to reply. Deadline 12 May, and yes, we will chase you.
Regrets only
Use this only for casual events where you know the circle and a missed 'no' will not cost a plated dinner.
Regrets only by 12 May.
No need to reply unless you cannot make it; let us know by 12 May if so.
Assume we are counting on you unless we hear otherwise by 12 May.
Plus-ones and companions
The rule belongs on the invitation or the envelope, applied to everyone, so that no guest has to ask and no host has to refuse.
Mr Thomas Reid and guest.
We have reserved two seats in your honour.
Our numbers are tight, so we are unable to offer plus-ones. We hope you understand.
Partners are warmly invited; please add their name when you reply.
This invitation is for the guests named above.
Adults only, and children welcome
Say it plainly and kindly, once. Both versions below are widely used and neither causes offence when it is on the invitation rather than in a private message.
We love your little ones, but this is an evening for grown-ups. Thank you for understanding.
Adults-only celebration. We hope the night off is a treat.
Children are very welcome; please tell us their number and ages when you reply so the kitchen can plan.
Family invitation: please reply for everyone, children included.
Meals, dietary needs and practicalities
If you ask for a meal choice, say so on the invitation; guests who see the question only on the reply page are surprised by it.
Please choose a main course when you reply: beef, salmon or the vegetarian dish.
Tell us about any allergies or dietary needs when you reply. The kitchen would rather know.
Travelling far? Let us know when you reply if you need a room; we have held some nearby.
The ceremony is at 14:00 and the dinner at 18:00. Please tell us which parts you will join.
The reminder
One reminder, sent the day after the deadline to everyone who has not replied, warm and short. It should read like a favour, not a fine.
A quick nudge: we have not heard from you yet and the caterer needs numbers this week. Could you reply by Friday? We would love to have you.
Hello! Our reply date has just passed and we are missing your answer. A yes or a no both help; here is the link again.
Last call for the caterer: if we do not hear by Friday we will assume you cannot make it, and we will miss you.
The reply itself
For guests. A line is enough; two is generous. For declines, no reason is required, though a short one is kind.
We would love to come. Two of us, and Anna is vegetarian.
Yes, with pleasure. Just me, no dietary needs.
Delighted to accept. We will be at the ceremony and the dinner, but will have to leave before the party.
We are so sorry we cannot be there on the 12th. Thank you for thinking of us, and have the most wonderful day.
Sadly I cannot make it; I will be abroad that week. I will raise a glass from there.
FAQ
- Should the RSVP line say 'please RSVP' or just 'RSVP'?
- Either. 'RSVP' already means 'please reply', so 'please RSVP' repeats the please, but it reads more naturally to most people. Use the one that fits your card.
- Where does the RSVP line go on the invitation?
- At the bottom, after the date, time and place, before any practical notes. On a card, give the reply its own insert; on a digital invitation, make the reply button the largest thing on the page.
- How do I word a plus-one on the invitation?
- Name the companion on the envelope or write 'and guest'. If you cannot offer plus-ones, say so on the invitation once: 'Our numbers are tight, so we are unable to offer plus-ones.'
- How do I say adults only politely?
- 'We love your little ones, but this is an evening for grown-ups. Thank you for understanding.' On the invitation, once, applied to everyone.