- Give two times, not one: the hour the door opens and the hour you sit down.
- Ask about dietary needs when you invite — the answer changes the shopping, and the shopping happens days before.
- Answer "shall I bring something" on the invitation, in one line, or eight people bring wine.
- A potluck is assigned, not suggested. "Bring whatever you like" is how a table gets four puddings.
- The reply has to mean yes: a place is laid and a portion cooked, so a late no is a plate nobody eats.
What a dinner invitation must say
A wedding guest who misreads the card loses a seat at the back. A dinner guest who misreads it costs you a course. All of this fits in six lines.
- Who is inviting, and whether that is one host or two.
- The day and the date, with the year if it is more than a month off.
- Two times: when to arrive, and when you sit down to eat.
- The address in full, with the floor and the bell if it is a flat.
- What the meal is: drinks and dinner, a long lunch, a late supper.
- Whether to bring anything, and what.
- The dress code, if it is anything other than what your friends already wear.
- How to reply, by when, and where to put a dietary need.
Arrival and sitting: two times on one card
The old formula "7.30 for 8" exists because a dinner has two moments and a guest needs both: the hour the door opens, and the hour the food is on the table and cannot wait. Give one time and you get people at both ends of it.
Say why the second time is firm, if it is — a fish, a soufflé, a booking. Guests are glad to be punctual when they know what is at stake.
Drinks from 7.30, dinner at 8.30.
7.30 for 8.
Come at seven; we sit down at eight, and the soup does not wait.
Doors at 6.30, dinner served at 7, home by 11.
Dinner is at eight. Anything from half past seven and you will find us still cooking, which is half the fun.
| Wording | What it tells a guest | Use it when |
|---|---|---|
| Drinks from 7.30, dinner at 8.30 | An hour to arrive in, and one moment that matters | Most dinners, and any table of six or more |
| 7.30 for 8 | Arrive at half past seven; we sit at eight | A formal table, or guests who know the phrase |
| Dinner at 8, come a little before | One time, softened | Close friends and a short evening |
| From 7, and we eat when everyone is here | No fixed sitting; the food waits | A kitchen supper, a buffet, a long table |
Formal wording
A formal dinner invitation is third person, gives the hour in words and keeps the reply on its own line. It suits a set table with place cards, a dinner in someone's honour, or a dress code stricter than the room.
Mr and Mrs Henrik Lindqvist request the pleasure of your company at dinner on Saturday, the fourteenth of March, at eight o'clock, at 12 Kastanienallee, Berlin.
Sofia Bertelli requests the pleasure of your company at dinner in honour of Professor Anna Reiss, on Friday the sixth of June at half past seven.
Dinner will be served at eight; guests are asked to be seated by a quarter to.
Black tie. Dinner at eight.
Kindly reply by the first of March, with any dietary requirements.
Modern wording
The register most dinners want: your own voice, the same facts, nothing padded. A warm line, the times, the address, the reply. Four lines is a good invitation.
We're cooking on Saturday and we'd like you at the table. Drinks from 7.30, dinner at 8.30.
Dinner at ours, Friday 6 June. Six of us, one long evening, no occasion at all.
We've been promising you dinner for a year. Saturday 14 March, 7.30 for 8.
Lena and Jonas invite you to dinner at 12 Kastanienallee, Saturday at eight. Tell us what you don't eat.
A table for eight on the 14th, and two of the chairs are yours.
Supper at ours on Thursday. Early, simple, and done by ten.
Playful wording
Playful works when the joke is in the first line and the facts underneath stay straight. A guest who has to ask what time to arrive has read a good joke and a bad invitation.
We have bought a very large pot. Come and help us empty it. Saturday, 7.30 for 8.
Four courses, no theme, and one dog who will try for the cheese.
I have found a recipe with eleven steps. You are the audience. Friday at eight.
The oven is new, the cook is not. Dinner on the 14th at half past seven.
Come hungry, leave slowly. The table is laid for 8.
There will be too much bread. That is the entire plan.
Dietary needs and allergies, asked once
Ask when you invite. A need discovered at the table is a guest eating bread and being gracious about it; a need discovered on the Friday is a second trip to the shops.
Ask it like a person, not like a form. One warm sentence gets better answers than a list of categories: the guest who says "anything except shellfish" would never tick a box marked intolerances. On a digital invitation the reply carries a field for it, so the answer arrives with the yes.
Tell us anything you don't eat when you reply, and we'll cook around it.
Allergies, intolerances, or a thing you simply cannot face — say so on the reply and we'll plan the menu after.
One of us is coeliac, so the whole table is gluten-free. Say if that's a problem rather than a relief.
The menu is fish. If that doesn't work for you, tell us — it is no trouble now and a great deal of trouble at eight o'clock.
We eat vegetarian at home and the table will too. There will be plenty of it.
Kasia is allergic to nuts, so nothing coming into the house should contain any. Sorry to be firm about it.
Wine, a dish, or nothing: what to bring
Every guest asks whether to bring something, and half of them ask you rather than the card. Answer once, and be specific: "bring nothing" is heard as politeness unless you say the shopping is done, and "bring something" is heard as wine.
A potluck is assigned. Give each guest a course or a job when you invite them, and ask what they are bringing when they reply. Four puddings is not bad luck; it is an unassigned potluck.
Bring nothing but yourself — the shopping is done.
Bring a bottle of whatever you like drinking; the food is covered.
If you would like to bring something, bring cheese. We have no cheese.
We're doing the mains — could you bring a pudding for eight?
It's a shared table: Otto has the starter, Mateo the mains, we have pudding. That leaves bread and wine, if either appeals.
Tell us what you'd like to bring when you reply and we'll keep the list, so we don't end up with four bowls of tiramisu.
The kind of dinner, and how smart it is
Three dinners get confused with one another. A seated dinner has fixed places, a start time and a menu you decided. A long table is twenty people, one enormous dish and no seating plan, and the invitation should say so. A supper club has a ticket, a set menu and strangers: give the price and what it covers.
Dress at a table is a short question, because people sit in one room for three hours. Say it in words a guest can act on, and mention the room if the room decides it.
A seated dinner for ten, with your name on the table.
Twelve of us at one long table, one enormous dish, no seating plan and no ceremony.
Supper club: five courses, one long table, and eighteen people who mostly don't know each other yet.
Paid in advance, and the ticket covers all five courses. Bring your own wine.
Dress: whatever you'd wear to a restaurant you like.
No dress code. The chairs are hard and the evening is long, so choose comfort.
Black tie — it is that kind of dinner, and it will be over by midnight.
We eat in the garden room, which is beautiful and cold. Bring a layer.
A dinner in someone's honour, and a dinner for work
When the dinner is for somebody, name them in the first line and the rest follows. A guest of honour also makes the time firm: a toast or an arrival is a moment nobody can be late for.
A dinner for work needs four facts before anyone can answer: the reason, the finish time, whether partners are included, and who is paying. If it is really a company event with an agenda, the corporate wording page is the better model.
A dinner for Ines, who has finished her doctorate at last. Friday the sixth, at eight.
We're giving Bram a dinner before he leaves for Lisbon. Please be seated by 7.45 — he arrives at eight and knows nothing about it.
Dinner for Klara's fiftieth. No presents, no speeches over a minute, no excuses.
Please join us at dinner to thank Marta for nine years at the shop.
A working dinner: eight of us, one table and the new contract. 7pm to 10, at Osteria Vela, and dinner is on the company.
Dinner after the conference on Thursday, 8pm at Hotel Kastanie. Partners very welcome; the table is booked for fourteen.
Team dinner on Thursday at 7.30. We'll be finished by ten, and nobody is expected to talk about work.
The reply line, and the plate a late no costs
One date, one way to answer, and the number of people in the same breath: a yes that turns out to be two is a chair short. Set the date a few days before you shop.
Be honest about what a late no is. At a wedding it is a spare seat; at a table of ten it is a portion cooked for nobody and a gap beside somebody who was looking forward to them.
On a digital invitation the reply lives on the page: yes or no in a browser, how many are coming and what they cannot eat, with no app and no account, and the form closes on your date.
Please reply by Monday 9 March — the table is laid for twelve and I shop on the Thursday.
Yes or no by the 9th, and tell us how many of you there are.
Reply on the invitation, and say if anything changes: an empty seat on the night is a plate cooked for nobody.
Say yes only if you mean it. It is a small table and there is a waiting list, which is a ridiculous thing to write about a Tuesday.
RSVP by 9 March. One tap, and there's a box for what you don't eat.
If something goes wrong on the day, ring rather than message — we'd rather know at six than notice at nine.
Wording mistakes at dinner parties
- One time on the card, so half the table arrives with the food.
- "Dinner at 8" for an evening that eats at ten, so guests eat before they come.
- The address without the floor or the bell, on the one night you are standing over a pan.
- Asking about dietary needs after the shopping is done.
- A dietary question written as a form: "please list all allergens and dietary preferences".
- "Bring whatever you like" for a potluck, which is how four puddings happen.
- No answer to "shall I bring something", so eight people bring wine and nobody brings bread.
- A dress code invented for a kitchen: "smart supper", "elevated casual".
- No reply-by date, so the shopping is a guess.
- No finish time on a work dinner, so nobody knows whether it is a meal or an evening.
FAQ
- How do you word a dinner party invitation?
- Say who is inviting, the day and date, the time to arrive and the time you sit down, the address, what the meal is, whether to bring anything, and how to reply by a date. Then pick one register and keep it.
- What time should you put on a dinner invitation?
- Two of them. "Drinks from 7.30, dinner at 8.30" gives an hour to arrive in and one moment that matters; the older form is "7.30 for 8". A single time gets guests at both ends of it.
- How do you ask about dietary requirements politely?
- In one sentence, when you invite: "Tell us anything you don't eat when you reply, and we'll cook around it." Ask before you shop, ask everybody the same way, and keep it out of the language of forms.
- How do you word a potluck invitation?
- Assign rather than suggest: "we're doing the mains, could you bring a pudding for eight?" Then ask people to say what they are bringing when they reply, so the gaps show before the day.
- Do you have to tell guests what to bring?
- Yes, because they will ask anyway. If you want nothing, say why: the shopping is done. If you want something, name it — cheese, bread, a bottle you like. "Whatever you like" produces eight bottles of wine.
- How do you word a dinner in someone's honour?
- Name them in the first line and let the rest follow: "A dinner for Ines, who has finished her doctorate at last." If there is a moment nobody can be late for, give the time for that too.
- How far ahead do you send a dinner invitation?
- Three to four weeks for a seated dinner with a fixed table, ten days to a fortnight for something casual, and a reply-by date a few days before you shop rather than the day before.
- Do you need an RSVP for a dinner party?
- More than for anything else: places are laid and portions cooked to a number. The reply needs a date, a way to answer and the number of people coming, and a digital invitation closes the form on your date.